The Blahs
I read somewhere recently a list of stock conversational phrases that people who care about such things widely object to–”long story short,” “at the end of the day,” “outside the box,” “push the envelope” (why not combine them? “We have to push the envelope outside the box”), “iconic,” and so on. (Sad to say, I can’t think of a substitute for “iconic.”) The most objected to utterance was “Whatever,” as an indication that there may be nothing more to be said.
I don’t understand that. “Whatever” seems to me a useful, new-ish locution, as it implies that most deals, even of one’s own, are not big deals. I like to be reminded that ordinary life is indeed ordinary, especially when I or someone else gets worked up over a small matter. Others can and evidently do object to “whatever,” but I will defend it as an expression of existential acceptance and a reminder of our tendency to be overdramatic. If you tell me I’m wrong, you know now how I will probably reply.
However, there is a not dissimilar default expression that is beginning to drive me crazy, and that is “Blah blah blah.” What use is it, I ask you. If what it substitutes for is not worth saying, as the expression itself so clearly indicates, then why substitute something even more tedious and vapid for it–namely “Blah blah blah”? It seems to signal boredom with oneself and maybe even boredom with one’s companion, by association. The trick is not to talk in a way that leads you up the blind alley at the end of which “Blah blah blah” lies in wait. Never fail to try to be entertaining.
Blah blah blah. It’s a lot shorter than the alternative. And you know what I mean.