On Talking to Doctors
Most of the time patients are anxious. This anxiety is in the air of the examining room. It often prevents making a real connection with the doctor, and I think people should do their best to overcome it by trying to engage the doctor in conversation about something other than what is going on–blood going into one tube after another, choke holds on the old thyroid, fingers where they generally aren’t, deep breaths that leave you hyperoxygenated and feeling faint. Ask the doctor about himself or herself–not about degrees or career but about the pictures of families on the wall, or what that painting is all about, or whether he has ever thought about giving internet access to patients while they wait, about where he got that tie or she got those shoes.
Don’t forget this: even in frightening or dire medical circumstances, if you make contact with the person who is treating you (and assuming you respect that person’s ability), you will be doing the doctor–and therefore yourself–a favor. (It doesn’t always work: I once told a surgeon under pretty frightening and dire circumstances [for me] that he looked very much like Jeff Daniels. He grimaced. After he left, the resident said, “He gets that Jeff Daniels thing all the time. He hates it.”)
One more thing: when a doctor’s day isn’t just workaday, it’s usually grim. Try some mild humor, about yourself, about life.
